Beneath the presenting problems everyone has and wish to overcome there are some core beliefs that are holding them back. One of these beliefs is, “it is not available to me”. It means you have a really strong desire for something but on the inside, you are always telling yourself you cannot have it, it is not possible, it is not something that will ever be available to you for whatever circumstances. When you can tackle this belief and where it is holding you back it will create a domino effect in your life of other things holding you back. No matter what you feel is not working in your life, the presenting problem is never actually the problem, and you need to dig into yourself a little deeper to find the right answers. Diving into these things Is like peeling away the layers of an onion, one at a time.
I often come across people who are too scared to get to know themselves better because they do not want to know what lies underneath the surface. I can understand their hesitation but for anyone who feels this way, just know, you are missing out on some real beauty in life of shedding layers to bring out what could be a really fulfilling life. Understanding is power, which means that getting to know yourself better and addressing what is going on for you will only give you more power to face your life. It can feel sometimes like it is going to break you, and hey, sometimes temporarily things will really pull you down, it happens, I have been there. I have felt very, very broken in the past. But if you continue to do the work and seek the right help, you can push yourself through.
This is where the belief, it is not available to me, comes in. When you are telling yourself what you want is just not possible. I want to be healthy but my whole family are overweight, I do not know any different. I want to be successful, but I do not know anybody who has done better for themselves, I have no role models. I want to find a loving and meaningful relationship, but my parents couldn’t even love me for who I am, so why would someone else? These are all stories of “it is not available to me”. You deeply want something while believing that you cannot have it based on your perception. I want to be happy but my whole family is depressed, and I have inherited that gene. All these things are false beliefs that eventually become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You might feel like you have faulty wiring, a faulty upbringing or faulty thinking and those things are keeping you from where you want to be. Again, this is an incorrect belief and you are going to need to keep reminded yourself of that. There will always be someone out there who has been in the circumstance you are and overcome it, to come out the other side even better than they went in. You just need to find them, hey google. Even if you get yourself on the right track to what you want, if deep down you believe you cannot have it, you will self-sabotage. Some people can be so determined to prove themselves right that they cannot have what they want, that when it doesn’t work out, they use it in a way of saying, “I told you so, I was right, I cannot do it” and that was a good thing to be right. Ever found yourself fighting for your own limitations? It is okay if you have but now is the time to stop. Stop fighting to prove you are right about not being able to do something and start fighting to prove that you were able to do it. Both take the same amount of effort.
So, it is time to be really honest with yourself, what do you think is not available to you? Start writing these things down. Perhaps you think having a balanced life is not available to you, so you are always in chaos. Perhaps you think feeling well all of the time isn’t available to you, so you find yourself always focus on being unwell. Perhaps you feel receiving back as much as you give is not available to you and you always find yourself feeling bitter and falling short of receiving from others. You have to give to yourself first.
It is time to let go of the belief that you cannot have what you want. That you cannot have everything that you want, all at the same time. You can have what you fight for in your life. Your mind will do what you tell it to. Start telling it to look for ways to have what you want. Start looking for reasons why you can have what you want. Go over your list of what you feel is unavailable to you and now make a list of the things you want to start making available to you. Your limitations only go as far as you allow them to. What is one thing you can bring into your life this week that you always felt was not available to you?