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The Formula For Happiness

This week I want to teach you something I have learned from Tony Robbins. It is a really helpful way to understand why sometimes you can feel in pain about different areas of your life. You might find that some areas of your life you are quite happy with and really proud of. Yet other areas for you are less than impressive and may even be causing you pain and suffering. This is all to do with your blueprint of how you think your life should be.

Think of an area of your life that you are really happy with. Something you feel like is really working out for you. Perhaps you are really happy with how your finance are going at the moment, or with how well you take care of your body, or perhaps with your relationship right now. Now think of the reasons why you are happy in that area. Be specific, what are the reasons that area feels good to you right now? You could even right these things down.


Once you are clear on what area of your life you are happy with and why, this is why you are happy with it; we all have a blueprint or a story of how our life should be. What it is supposed to look like, what we are supposed to have accomplished. What that area looks like when we know it is working for us. When an area of your life is in alignment with your blueprint, then you experience a lot of joy in that area.

Now think of an area of your life you are not happy with, perhaps you are unhappy in your job, perhaps your relationship with your family isn’t what you want, perhaps you are not as fit as you would like to be. Now make a list of reasons why you are unhappy in that area. Write them down. When you are unhappy in any area of your life, it is because that area does not match your blueprint. You have decided through different influences and life experiences that things need to be a certain way for you to be satisfied with them.

Often when an area doesn’t match our blueprint, it causes us pain and frustration. When it is completely different from our blueprint, it causes a great deal of pain. We are thinking things “should be” different. When this causes suffering is when we feel like we have no control to change it. Perhaps you have experienced this through covid. Life changed a lot it was not longer how we thought it should be and we had very little control over what we could do about it. So, a lot of people have suffered as they have felt helpless through this. They knew things were not how they wanted them to be and they had no control to change it.

So, what do you do about this? Tony explains you have 3 choices. The first one is to blame, blame other people, blame events or blame yourself. While getting angry may feel like it gives you power in the moment, it is a false sense of power because stewing in the blame game will eat way at you and not help you make changes. The second option is to change your life, change the area you are not happy with, start to make improvements in it, work on things for yourself. The third option is to change your blueprint.

Usually, it takes a combination of a little changing of your life and a little changing of your blueprint. So, take an area of your life that you feel is causing you pain and start to figure out how you can make a difference to it. Can you change the expectation of how this area should be? Can you reach out for hep to make positive changes for it? Sometimes closing the gap of where you are to where you want to be isn’t always about physical action. It is about the mental action of shifting your perspective. As Marcel Proust said, “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new sights, but in looking with new eyes.” Your circumstances do not have to change for you to be able to see them differently and feel better about them.

So, what blueprint do you need to start addressing? Do you need to change something in your life or change how you are telling yourself life is supposed to be for you to be happy? If you are always needing your outside circumstances to make you feel good, you will never truly find the joy you seek because something will always have a stronger control over you. What can you start to do this week to make a positive change for yourself?


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